I kinda wrote about this in my “About” page but in case this ever does get read by anyone I’m just going to elaborate-
- I was bored and I have no life and no friends. Or not good friends. I mean they’re good people, but I don’t have a bff or a squad or a group, I’m just kind of there and I’m not the first person that anyone would think of when they think of friends. They all have people that they’re better friends with then me. I’m nobody’s first choice and I’m a sad, lonely person. (I’m feeling sorry for myself here. I’m not a little recluse who wears all black and stays inside and has no contact with society. But I am pretty quiet, and I really don’t have much of a social life.)
- For the music. I’ve always wanted to introduce people to new music, because it makes me happy when people introduce me to music. A little more happiness in the world, you know?
- Letting out my stupid insecurities, aka venting. Like I said, I’m pretty quiet. If I did say this stuff, who would listen? I have no one to vent to. It’s better to write it. It’s an outlet, it’s cathartic, it makes me calm and keeps me relatively sane (I’m not crazy. I just have a lot of stuff kept on the inside. It’s not particularly heavy stuff, but it’s my stuff and my issues and apparently it’s not good to bottle it up, so here it is.)
- And venting about stuff that makes me angry because I don’t say it out loud. But there are definitely people that annoy me (i.e. My English teacher) or who do things I don’t like.
- Pretend I’m talking to someone. Sounds pathetic. No one’s actually reading this, right? But I’m throwing my thoughts like pebbles into the large ocean that is the world wide web, and you never know, someone might find my pebbles.
- It’s anonymous. No one has any preconceived ideas about who’s writing this until they read it, and that makes me feel pretty safe.
- And this is the stupidest reason of all: somehow, one day, my life will be like a movie and someone will care enough to want to know about the tiny little things that make me sad or happy or insecure or angry and all the things I keep inside. And then I will dramatically send them a link and they’ll read the entire blog in one night. (In reality, this isn’t going to happen, but I have daydreamed about it. And it’s not really a reason. It’s just a thing.)
- Payback. Sorta. There were a few people who were mean to me a while ago, it wasn’t bullying or anything but I really have a special kind of hatred for those select few. One day I’ll write about them here anonymously and I’ll feel good about it without harming anyone. See? It’s a win-win.
~the short awkward one