6/2-viciously tired

I am so, so ridiculously tired. Of everything, all the big things like college application (ew) and the little things (like how all my friends have better friends than I do). I feel like one of these days I’m going to explode in a flood of tears about all of this. I’m just tired of life, but not in a suicidal way. Although I have had some morbid fantasies about my own death, but those are mainly imagining who outisde my immediate family would miss me. I can’t imagine that there would be many. 3, maybe.

I’m not exaggerating here. It’s really, really difficult for me to make new friends. Take Chemistry class, for instance. It’s been a year and I haven’t made any friends in that class, and since there’s only like 8 days left of school I doubt I’ll make any. So no, I can’t just “make new friends” if I’m feeling lonely.

I thought I had a clear idea for this post but I don’t. Apparently I’m more miserable than I thought.

~the short awkward one

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