6/1- here i am

I haven’t been writing here for 2 reasons: 1) I’ve been super busy and 2) I thought I no longer needed to. Originally I started thise because I kept getting really upset about everything and I needed a place to vent about it so I wouldn’t explode, but lately I’ve been fine, like things didn’t affect me that much anymore. But hey, guess what happened today? You know how two people will start talking about some group thing they’re going to do but it’s really awkward because you’re literally right there and they already kind of know that you haven’t been invited (they’re not totally sure but they can make an educated guess) and so every once in a while they’ll just send you a pitying glance- *internally screams*

Yeah. That happened.

So much for me being impervious, huh?

~the short awkward one


5/17- TV shows

Some of my favorite shows have been cancelled 😦 Undateable and Faking It, to name a few. On the other hand, The Big Bang Theory, Superstore, Modern Family, Supergirl, and Shadowhunters have been renewed!! Guess I can’t have them all (as much as I want to).

But one of my favorites, Stitchers, is still on the fence and I might actually cry if it’s cancelled, because I’m so invested in these characters and their story. And I just adore the main characters- they’re super relatable and funny.

It’s kind of a sci-fi/crime/drama/comedy/romance. Basically there’s a girl, Kirsten, who gets recruited by the NSA to use technology to “stitch” into the memories of dead people, and she uses that information to solve crimes. Some other characters are Camille (the super sassy one), Linus (the awkward insecure one), and Cameron (head scientist who’s in love with Kirsten and Kirsten loves him and everyone knows it but they won’t get together for some reason and if they never get together and the show gets cancelled I’m going to freak out because like I said I’m super super invested.)

So I highly highly reccommend this show and I basically watched the first season in 2 days. You can start from the beginning and watch all previous episodes for free on the Freeform app! And if you really like the show and want to help save it, use #renewstitchers3 !

~the short awkward one x

5/16- done af

AP tests are over, but I’ve still got a lot of stuff to do that I’m currently procrastinating on by writing this.

I feel oddly detached from everything. Like what would normally have caused me to freak out, now feels like it’s happening through a layer of glass. What’s the cure for this? Because as much as I used to wish I could turn off my emotions, I didn’t mean permanently.

So since I feel like nothing has actually happened to me, this is basically a pointless post…

Like okay, how about this. Literally 2 minutes ago I was FB stalking two of my ex-friends (which honestly sounds pathetic) (and if I had been doing this a year ago I would most likely have been crying) but then I noticed just how many spelling errors there were. And that’s when I realized: I may not be popular and I may be the most insecure human being to ever walk the planet, but compared to them, I’m probably the one who’s going to end up at a better university. Because prettiness and popularity only matter in high school (and maybe college) but the point is that the intelligent are the ones who will end up running the world. Not to say that I’m intelligent, but I would definitely say that I’m  a little higher on the scale.

~the short awkward one

p.s. I’m literally falling asleep while writing this so if there are any errors or if this offends anyone I’m sorry, this is just me throwing my thiughts out there,


5/11- it’s been a while…

I know it’s been a while since I last posted, but this is the time when everything starts to get really busy and rushed. Teachers try to cram in everything they haven’t taught yet while students are forced to take standardized tests to measure our learning.

And I admit I’m really only posting because I feel weird. Just different than normal somehow. Probably my teenagery hormones. I’m breaking out  and it looks like my face has chicken pox, my sleep cycles are way way off, and once again I’m starting to overreact about every little thing.

One particular overreaction is that whenever my friend doesn’t seem to want to do something with me, she thinks I’m too clingy. And what’s crazier is that I went into this whole scenario in my head where she accused me of being gay for her. Which is nuts, right? I know she knows I’m straight (I think), but why is my brain thinking about this?

Maybe because I have no evidence that suggests I’m straight. I mean, I can’t even talk to guys outside of class. But then again, there’s no evidence that I’m not straight either. Another friend and I were talking about this a while ago and she told me it sounded like I was asexual, which sounds about right. Except for the part where I fangirl over every cute guy on TV. Do asexual people do that?

This was all mindless babble, but I didn’t realize how much I missed this.

~the short awkward one

p.s. But isn’t it great that we’ve reached a point in our culture where we can talk about these things freely? Not just gay vs. straight but sexuality in general. I’m told that where I live is actually just a progressive pocket of the US and not everywhere is like here, but the west coast in general is pretty open about this.