Over the last month, I’ve been okay. Not good, not bad, just okay. I’m still in pretty much the same situations, but unlike before when they were causing me to be anxious and have stress, now I just kind of feel nothing. I still sit by myself sometimes, I haven’t made new friends, I haven’t become better friends with anyone, I still can’t talk to guys, and the only real place I talk to people is here. But now I guess I’ve gotten used to it, and I’m just numb. That’s probably not super healthy, but I feel like it’s better than listening to super-sad music all the time.
Music, lots of TV, ice cream, blogging, photography, reading, and YouTube have been my escapes from reality. I also started trying to exercise a little while I watch TV, so maybe that’s been helping me?
The point is that right now I feel mentally better. But spring break is literally 4 days away so that probably contributes to some of it. Also school’s like actually getting hard, and I’m getting busier so I have less time to overanalyze my actions. So I’m just keeping my mind occupied. I will probably have some anxieties and some social awkwardness still, but I’m in a better mental place.
(or this numbness could be holding back all my emotions and ai’ll just have a huge emotional meltdown someday, like an erupting volcano. Now there’s a nice thought.)
~the short awkward one