1/27-1/28 -get me out of here

I want to know what people honestly genuinely think of me and why they always seem to end up leaving and moving on to better things. Like my friend just kind of switched groups with no real warning and that’s ok because I still have a group of friends but I didn’t know what that meant and I’m confused because I somehow feel offended and I shouldn’t, right? I mean, she went to her boyfriend’s group…

*mini-rant start* But honestly why because I understand your boyfriend is a nice person and probably more fun than I am and I’m sure you want to spend all your time with him and put him before your super loyal friends but realistically you’ll break up one day and guess what you won’t have any friends except me because I’ll just keep giving second chances. I’m just stupid like that. And maybe the reason I feel like this is because you don’t put him over your other friends, you just put him over me and I know I’m not your best friend and you have actual best friends but you’re pretty much the closest thing I’ve got to a best friend and that sounds really sad but it’s probably true. *mini-rant fin*

^ too shy and unconfrontational to actually say that, also it would make me sound really pathetic, so I’ll post it on here instead

I still haven’t figured out my lunch situation and I kind of wish I had a car so I could go drive around and pretend I went to Starbucks or something when really I could just be alone for a while. But I’d have to get my license for that to happen.

If people knew what was going on in my head they’d stay even farther away than they do now.


1/28- I just feel disconnected to the world and the time I feel most connected is when I’m watching someone else’s fictional life on a screen at 11pm while I’m alone and buried in blankets.


  • Colors, by Halsey. Super catchy, very stuck in my head right now amidst all this other junk.
  • Read All About It, by Emeli Sandé. You’ve got the words to change a nation//But you’re biting your tongue//You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence//Afraid you’ll say something wrong. 
  • All Time Low, by Stacy Clark. Also stuck in my head, from the webshow Guidance with Amanda Steele.

~the short awkward one



3 thoughts on “1/27-1/28 -get me out of here

  1. In regards to your lunch situation: have you tried just hanging out with yourself instead of a group? I had a similar problem in high school because 1) I couldn’t talk to other people and 2) the group I was hanging out with were fucking morons. So I’d just take a walk around the near by streets at lunch and break, or I’d go sit in the library and read some psych books or do some homework . I met some studious people that way and ended up meeting them in the library every day. We weren’t good friends, but they were people I could always count on to be there if I didn’t want to look like a loner one day lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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