1/25- what do I do?

Today was the start of second semester, which for my school means different seats, different schedueles, and different lunches. I don’t like change. I really don’t. The seat part was okay, even though in one class I did end up in the middle of  a section which makes me feel trapped. But for the most part it was fine.

My new class, Photography 2, ended up being a lot more advanced than I thought it would be, and it’s definitely more for people who are serious about photography. If I work hard I should be fine, but I felt a little out of depth next to all these people who knew so much about photography.

The worst part was lunch. My school has an A lunch and a B lunch, and basically in second semester, the people with A lunch would switch to B lunch and vice versa. However, since I had semester classes, I had a different class and my lunch stayed the same, so my lunch friends ended up being in a different lunch.

So I had to find people to sit with. Easier said than done. I followed my friend from Photography to her lunch group, but Here’s the thing- I can’t function in big groups where I only know a couple people. If I know a bunch of them pretty well and there’s only a couple I don’t know, I’ll be fine. But in her group, I literally only knew her and one other person. I would have stayed silent the entire time because I wouldn’t have known if I had anything in common with those other people.

That happens a lot, in large groups. I just end up staying silent. I’m at my best, social-wise, one-on-one or in a group of 2 or 3. Any more than that and I feel incredibly out of place.

So I told my friend I would find another group. I think she could tell how nervous I was about it. I left and found someone I sort of knew, and that was fine until she was joined by her large group. And I pretty much ended up staying silent the entire time anyway.

What do I do? Do I join my friend from Photography tomorrow and see how that goes? Do I stay with the group from today even though I was super uncomfortable? Does either group even really want me there? Is it awkward of me to kind of invite myself into a group like that?

This is why I prefer music to people. Music, I understand. Social situations, not so much.

  • Beneath You Beautiful, by Labrinth ft. Emeli Sandé.
  • Geronimo, by Sheppard.
  • Rather Be, by Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne. 

Song choices heavily influenced by the show Pitch Slapped, super good a capella if you like that.

Also, can anyone help me find a song that’s stuck in my head? Please help, it’s driving me nuts.

  • kind of electro-pop
  • the first words sound like, “you could be the….”
  • Female singer, sounds like Charli Xcx
  • The first electronic sounds are (on the piano) E E E E (down to) C C, (high) C C C C (down to) G G.

~the short awkward one


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