12/19-why bother

(I’ve been lazy and haven’t posted 🙃 but I’ve had this post in my head for a while, I just needed to write it.)

Why should I speak, when it’s almost always immediately followed by some negative comment or criticism of the words I used or the way I explained things or even the volume of my voice? “Speak up, I can’t hear you.” “Someone already said that, don’t be repetitive.” “What? I don’t get it. Explain it differently.” “That’s not even funny.” “We’ve moved on from that subject, pay attention.”

And I know what anyone else would say to this, of course- “Haters gonna hate. Just ignore them, it’ll be fine.” But what if these comments come from people you’re supposed to trust? Your parents, friends, family, teachers, people who you’re supposed to be able to count on?

So why should I bother speaking to them? They’re always going to find something to complain about anyway. Even if I don’t speak, it’s always, “You’re too quiet.” “Keep your hair out of your eyes.” Why should I speak when it’s just another thing to criticize?

I don’t want people to coddle me and fawn over everything I say. Of course not. I just want people to understand the validity of my words and actually respond instead of picking at the flaws.

So I’m going to try and surround myself with people who do just that, and those are the few people I call friends.

And also music, it’s a cure-all.

  • Wish You Were Here, by Avril Lavigne. I just love this song and the lyrics and her voice, which is super unique.
  • Take A Look At Me Now, by Greyson Chance. I’m putting down my defenses//these wings are gonna take me off the ground. He’s also unique, because this song is from when he was younger, and I don’t think there’s a lot of young artists who come out with amazing albums like this. (unfortunately there isn’t an official video, so I had to make do.)

  • Really Don’t Care, by Demi Lovato. Maybe if I listen to this song enough, the message will sink into my brain.

~the short awkward one



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