11/19- anxiety part 3

Today after school I was walking with my friend, and we were going out the doors to the parking lot. Then her boyfriend comes up and says hi, and then I really awkwardly mumbled, “I have to leave,” and just kind of ran away. Because guess what? I CAN’T TALK TO GUYS.

Okay maybe a little exaggeration. What I mean is that I’m really awkward around guys, especially outside of class, because I’ve never really had a guy friend like ever. I’d like to, but at the rate I’m going it seems pretty impossible. Rationally I know that her boyfriend’s a nice guy, and I could have just stayed with my friend for a while and then made a more graceful exit, but realistically that was never going to happen- to reference Finding Audrey, my irrational “tiny lizard brain” overrides my rationality, pushes my panic button, and then proceeds to run away.

Does this happen to anyone else, or am I just too awkward to function?

  • Broken Ones, by Jacquie Lee. So lay your hands on the left behind/ we all know how it feels to be forgotten for a while.
  • Beneath Your Beautiful, by Labrinth ft. Emili Sandé. I’ve loved this song forever, always have, always will.
  • Unsteady, by X Ambassadors. I think I’m going through an X Ambassadors phase, I’ve been listening to their songs much more recently. They sound really similar to Kodaline, which is another one of my favs.

~the short (super super super) awkward one

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