11/28-lazy

I’ve been lazy this entire weekend but it’s socially acceptable for once since it’s a holiday. And that’s why I’ve only got two songs today, because I’m too lazy to find a song that matches these two. But they’re really really good ones, and if you haven’t heard them before, you should give them a listen-

  • Youth, by Troye Sivan. Yay for his new music, I’m so excited to hear his album! This song just gives me happy feelings.

  • Outlaws, by Alessia Cara. She’s one of my new favorites, her voice is amazing and so are her lyrics. I think this song appeals to me because it sounds a little like a Meghan Trainor song, but with Alessia Cara’s voice.

Both of these songs are kind of about running away, but they make it sound nice and fun like roadtrips and chasing sunsets.

~the short awkward one

p.s. s/o to me for not making this a pity party lol

11/26- thanksgiving

I’m thankful for music, for my family and our health, for comfort, food, and shelter, and all the amazing people in the world. It may not seem like it sometimes when I vent here, but I really am thankful. I just get distracted by my failed attempts to socialize. But I’m thankful for the friends I do have, because I think they’re the only ones who sometimes put up with my particular brand of awkward.

Did I mention I’m thankful for music?

  • All Of The Stars, by Ed Sheeran. This is one of the most comforting songs ever. And it’s by Ed Sheeran, so it’s automatically perfect. And it’s on TFIOS soundtrack. That movie made me cry.
  • Dead In The Water, by Ellie Goulding. It’s on the Divergent soundtrack, and it’s lovely and peaceful and one of my favorites.
  • Catch Me, by Demi Lovato. This is one of her older songs. I didn’t listen to a lot of her music until I heard this song on a friend’s playlist, and it’s by far my fav Demi song. (Even though it says it’s official, I’m pretty sure the video’s fan-made. But it’s a nice video, and high quality.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

~the short awkward one

11/24- i’m fine

That’s the lie that’s most commonly told, I think. I’ve been reading more sappy romance books. The one I just read, The Fill-In Boyfriend, had this exact lie. The main character was always living on the surface and I think that’s what I’m doing, but in the end she started thinking more deeply because of some guy and I’m still stuck on the surface. Another one I read was Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell. Park was surface living too, then he changed because of Eleanor. Do I really need another person to help me think more deeply?

That’s what it seems like from up here on the surface.

  • Rock Bottom, by Hailee Steinfeld. I’ve been listening to the songs on her EP every day since it came out. It’s fantastic. We’re on the right side of rock bottom/And I hope that we keep falling.

  • Hold Each Other, by A Great Big World ft. Futuristic. This basically echoes some of the ideas in the books. Why is love such a cure-all end-all in today’s culture? I won’t know until I experience it, I guess. Mostly I like this song because it’s got piano, nice lyrics and a nice sound.
  • Great Big Storm, by Nate Ruess. Has nothing to do with this post really, I just like this song.

Wow the songs on this post and basically the entire post itself make no sense and I’m super tired of stressing about school and my awkward social problems and I just want to listen to some nice music.

~the short awkward one

11/21- cowardliness

Since after school yesterday, I feel like nothing I’ve done has gone right.

  1. I was walking with my friend when I saw another two of my friends hugging, so I walked over, tapped on their shoulders and said hi, but they didn’t respond. I walked behind them, saw the first friend’s face, and she was crying. I panicked, I didn’t know what to do, I just kind of continued on my way. I feel like an awful human being. I’m not that great of friends with her but I still feel like I should have helped somehow.
  2. I was helping with winter decorations, and I finished helping one little project so I started walking around. I talked to one of my friends, and then I think she forgot I was there, so I just turned and left. And I was too chicken to say anything.
  3. Similar situation happened- I talked to some people and then they forgot I existed. Also there was a guy in their group, that may have been why I ran away.

Long story short- I’m a scaredy cat when it comes to social situations.

  • I’ll Keep Loving You, by David Guetta ft. Birdy and Jaymes Young. Has nothing to do with the situation, I just like this song.
  • The Writer, by Ellie Goulding. You wait for a silence/ I wait for words/ Lie next to your frame/ Girl unobserved. That’s me, girl unobserved…
  • Something Better, by Audien ft. Lady Antebellum. For once, I actually heard this song on the radio for the first time, usually I find music on Spotify. Kind of electronic/dance pop sounding.

~the short awkward one

p.s. Random thoughts- I have the cowardliness of the cowardly lion, the shyness of a bunny, and all the awkwardness of a panda. Sometimes I act like a cat, and other times like a twelve year old pretending to be a sixteen year old. I’m a little messed up.

p.p.s. I have to go write about my nonexistent love life and future relationships for my English class. Joy.

11/19- anxiety part 3

Today after school I was walking with my friend, and we were going out the doors to the parking lot. Then her boyfriend comes up and says hi, and then I really awkwardly mumbled, “I have to leave,” and just kind of ran away. Because guess what? I CAN’T TALK TO GUYS.

Okay maybe a little exaggeration. What I mean is that I’m really awkward around guys, especially outside of class, because I’ve never really had a guy friend like ever. I’d like to, but at the rate I’m going it seems pretty impossible. Rationally I know that her boyfriend’s a nice guy, and I could have just stayed with my friend for a while and then made a more graceful exit, but realistically that was never going to happen- to reference Finding Audrey, my irrational “tiny lizard brain” overrides my rationality, pushes my panic button, and then proceeds to run away.

Does this happen to anyone else, or am I just too awkward to function?

  • Broken Ones, by Jacquie Lee. So lay your hands on the left behind/ we all know how it feels to be forgotten for a while.
  • Beneath Your Beautiful, by Labrinth ft. Emili Sandé. I’ve loved this song forever, always have, always will.
  • Unsteady, by X Ambassadors. I think I’m going through an X Ambassadors phase, I’ve been listening to their songs much more recently. They sound really similar to Kodaline, which is another one of my favs.

~the short (super super super) awkward one

11/16- in light of paris

So, the events in Paris went down on Friday, and everyone talked about it- who it was, why they were there, what caused it. And then I was thinking- why is popular music all about love for a significant other? Why isn’t there popular music written for these tragedies?

I know that love is power, it’s the “human emotion,” but animals arguably feel love. Animals can feel jealousy, anger, guilt, depression. So is love really a human emotion, and if so why is it that love for a significant other dominates the charts?Maybe because I haven’t experienced it yet, but I don’t think the earth will suddenly stop moving and I’ll want to be with them forever, because news flash: this is real life.

I just feel like people would take music more seriously if it covered other topics, not just romantic love. I know a lot of the songs I post on here are on that topic, but I really love listening to music on other topics too.

Some non-romantic songs:

  • Growing Up, by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ed Sheeran. This song is adorable. Macklemore is one of the rappers I actually like because not all his songs are about girls or partying. This is his song to his daughter, and if you read the description in YouTube, it will give you warm fuzzy feelings.

  • Cecilia and the Satellite, by Andrew McMahon. This song was again by him to his daughter, it’s amazing!

  • Hell No’s and Headphones, by Hailee Steinfeld. Her new EP is golden, and I love this song because it’s about not caring what other people think. Love love love her voice, lyrics, the whole thing.

~the short awkward one

ps- this is just a generalization. I’m not saying all music is like this, but a lot of it is.

11/12- countdown

PSA:

  1. THE FEELING FT. HALSEY OUT AT MIDNIGHT (I’m only in this for Halsey not JB)
  2. 1 DAY UNTIL HAIZ
  3. BOYS LIKE YOU FT. ARIANA GRANDE AND MEGHAN TRAINOR OUT NOV. 23

PSA over. Seriously, I’m so excited!

Music I’m listening to now-

  • Two Pieces, by Demi Lovato. I feel like you could make this into a fun duet and have some piano to go along with it, but I would actually need friends for that to happen. Also, somehow I’d need a singing voice. I like Demi Lovato, I don’t think I say that much but I do. She’s got a killer voice.
  • How Deep is Your Love, by Calvin Harris. I’m in love with this song, it’s super chill and I just kind of dance around my room when I hear it…and the music video has Gigi Hadid who is gorgeous and perfect in every way so that’s a bonus.
  • Wasted Love, by Matt McAndrew. He was a contestant on the Voice, and this was his original song. I think this was one of the last seasons I actually watched the voice, and he totally should have won.  So I’m not supposed to love you no more/I guess I’m not supposed to care/I held you so close, now I’m holding a ghost/How can love just disappear? I mean, those lyrics though…

~the short awkward one

11/11- random

Hello, happy Veteran’s Day! I personally do not know any veterans but they definitely should be celebrated.

Also, I have homework I should be doing but I’m not. I’m tired and slightly incoherent. You can tell by the way my thoughts I’m writing make no sense. I can’t even English (yes I just made that a verb go with it just go with it)

Some people have descended into Christmas fever already like Thanksgiving is just the doormat to Christmas but it’s not even Thanksgiving yet so I’m really confused by that.

Some random but good songs-

  • Ugly Heart, by G.R.L. I think this was the first song I ever discovered on Spotify and it’s super girl power because it’s about dumping a crappy guy. Lol by the time I date anyone I’ll be so desperate for human companionship I’ll probably just stick with the crappy guy.
  • We Got the World, by Icona Pop. One of my favorite songs I’ve ever gotten from a movie because Pitch Perfect 2 is the greatest and the lyrics are saying be true to yourself and don’t let other people bring you down because we got the world, you know? You don’t know. Oh well, I tried.
  • Girls Chase Boys, by Ingrid Michaelson. I think of this as kind of folk-pop? But yeah a lot of people know this song and it’s an older one and it makes me destress about my lack of a love life so yeah.

This post made no sense wheeeeeee

~the short awkward (very loopy on lack of sleep) one

11/10- stuff that needs to be fixed

First of all, sorry to Marina and the Diamonds, because I had an entire post about you, but WordPress failed (see last post). So someday I may do a post about that, but only when I feel like it again. But I’ll reiterate- WordPress needs to fix their “restore” button, or not delete unfinished blog posts.

Second of all, I’m tired. No surprise there. It’s been scientifically proven that teenagers have later sleep cycles, yet school still starts at o’dark hundred. Someone needs to fix this.

Third of all, I’m awkward. Per usual, right? But I need more friends and I need a life and possibly a love life if I don’t want to be alone forever. I need to figure my life out and be social and active and do things I won’t be able to do when I’m an “adult.” So if someone wants to take me on a road trip or to a concert or even just stay up late texting me, I will love them forever.

So basically the short list of stuff to be fixed today: the restore button, school start times, and me.

Anyway:

  •  All Time Low, by Stacy Clark. I heard this on Guidance with Amanda Steele, I really want to watch the rest but it’s on some crappy app I don’t want to download.I will only break your heart
    let you down, give you false hope
    When you’re reaching up i will watch you fall
    Until you hit, hit, hit your all time low
  • Alive, by Sia. It’s about surviving and staying alive so the lyrics are great and Sia’s one of my favorites so I love it.
  • Cannonball, by Skylar Grey ft. X Ambassadors. I love Skylar Grey but the only song I’ve heard by X Ambassadors is Renegade. Their voices work really well together, I feel like she’s the female version of their voices, if that makes sense.

~the short awkward one

p.s. There’s no real pattern with the songs I post videos to, it’s just the songs I think people should hear.

11/8- are you serious

are you serious, wordpress?!?! I had an ENTIRE post typed out and I went to copy a link from a different tab, and when I came back my ENTIRE POST WAS GONE. Like not even in my Drafts. So I opened wordpress in a new tab and I saw the little restore button but I couldn’t click on it because of my stupid top bar and I could not for the life of me scroll up. So thanks a lot wordpress. I’ve just wasted a good 20 minutes of my life. Are you freaking kidding.

And no, I’m not going to the effort of writing out that post again. Because this was supposed to be somewhere where I could express my thoughts freely in an easy manner, but you had to make life difficult and now I can’t even do that. You better fix that restore button thing. It’s a real problem.

I’m serious, WordPress. FIX THIS.

~the short awkward (and very angry) one