10/30- ugh

“Ugh” is when your friends bring up a party you’re not invited to and you just kind of stand there awkwardly wilting inside but putting on a brave face until somone finally realizes and changes the subject but it’s too late because now you know that no one really likes you and you actually don’t have friends you just sometimes talk to some people and then you think about how it must be your own social awkwardness and how there’s something inherently wrong with you until you finally escape that torturous conversation into solitude where you plug in your headphones and listen-

  • Life of the Party, by Shawn Mendes. The party that I wasn’t invited to. Well, I could be the life of a pity party I guess.
  • Breathe Me, by Sia. This was one of the first songs I listened to when I started listening to a lot of music. Sia songs always have the best piano, and her vocals are always amazing.

  • Listen, by Beyoncé. She’s literal perfection and can do no wrong, because everyone loves her. Her voice is super powerful and I love the lyrics on this song especially. Not really a sad song, but it makes me happier. Most music does, actually.

I’ve had way too many sad days lately.

~the short awkward one

10/27- a message to those around me

I AM AN INTROVERT. What’s so hard to understand? I may not be the most vocal or have the most friends and I’m always retreating into my head with music but I work pretty hard and I like to think I’m a genuinely nice person, ok so don’t pressure me to talk or speak up or communicate because I will get there eventually and for now, just deal with it and don’t give me any crap.

  • Talk Me Down, by Troye Sivan. The saddest music video ever. All the feels. I love the whole concept of the trilogy, and definitely check out the rest of the series, but this one was my favorite by far.

  • We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off, by Ella Eyre. Originally I think this was a super upbeat song from like the 80s, but I’m in love with this slower stripped down version. I first heard Ellie Lawrence’s version on The Voice and her voice was so nice, so I looked it up and I liked Ella Eyre’s version a lot too.
  • Demons, by Imagine Dragons. I’ve never been a hardcore fan of Imagine Dragons, but one time I was at a piano recital and a guy played this really well (side note-boys who can play piano are really cute. Maybe that’s just me) and this is my favorite song by them. Love the lyrics.

~the short awkward (introverted) one

10/24- disney

I love Disney movies, and anyone who doesn’t like at least one of them is crazy or lying. So these are some of my favs from or about Disney movies, there’s a bunch more but these are my go-tos:

  • I See the Light, by Mandy Moore. This is one of my absolute favorite scenes in Tangled, and I’m in love with their duet and the lyrics and it’s just so so pretty and perfect.
  • Lost Boy, by Ruth B. I heard this featured track on Pandora and I loved it, so I looked it up and she put this on Youtube and I love the keyboard and the lyrics are so good!! They totally fit the world of Peter Pan.

  • Colors of the Wind, by Judy Kuhn. I miss this! Again, the scene that goes with this is amazingly pretty and she’s got a really powerful voice and it’s just a really powerful song.

I also love a lot of the Mulan songs (to be expected, I’m Asian) and Frozen has some good songs, but honestly I think they’re kinda overrated, no offense to Frozen fans.

~the short awkward one

10/21-stupid stuff

Originally I was going to make this a Disney post, but I’ll save that for tomorrow.

I’m sure everyone’s had bad teachers in their lifetime. I wasn’t sure about my English teacher, but today cemented my opinion. I’m not the best at English and it’s not my favorite subject, but I’m definitely decent at it. So multiple things happened. We went over a test we had taken, and he just generally made fun of people (not specifically, but still) who had missed a certain question and compared them to elementary schoolers. The answer was deceptively way too simple and most people overthought it including me. And then we had “worktime” for an hour. We could choose what to do: decide on a topic for a satirical essay, write a thesis for that and get it checked off, and do SAT vocab, all of which is due tomorrow. Yet near the end of the period, he called out, “It doesn’t take an hour to write a thesis sentence, and everyone who hasn’t gotten theirs checked off is lame.” Okay, seriously? That applied to half the class including me. I was doing my SAT words, researching potential topics and trying to figure out a position. You want to see lame? How about the teacher who makes his students feel stupid?

wow that was a long rant…anyway that’s basically why I hate English right now…ugh

So music today is not happy and Disney.

  • Hall of Fame, by The Script. Great intro, and it’s basically a feel-good, you can do anything you want to do song. Kind of an older one but I love it.
  • Masterpiece, by Jessie J. So what if I take my time and I make mistakes? Good message. I don’t listen to a lot of her music, but her voice is super powerful.

  • Ordinary Human, by OneRepublic. I’m just a picture perfect nothing/Sometimes I medicate/I’ll be a picture perfect human/Before the sun goes down today. Ordinary people with flaws are going to be great one day, so don’t knock stupid mistakes, everyone makes them.

~the short awkward one

10/18- rainy

Rainy day, music, in my pjs while I’m reading, over a 3 day weekend. This is the life.

  • New Americana, by Halsey. Love the lyrics. Survival of the richest/the city’s ours until the fall/we’re Monaco and Hamptons bound/but we don’t feel like outsiders now. For some reason the music vid feels like the Hunger Games to me, but it’s really cool.

  • Title, by Meghan Trainor. Listened to this in the car yesterday, I’ve heard it before but this was the first time I paid attention to the lyrics. Basically about a guy who won’t call her his girlfriend, and it’s super sassy like you’d expect from her.
  • Elastic Heart, by Sia. Love her voice and the lyrics and it’s a great song. I’m going to try and play it on the piano later. One of my longtime favorites.

These songs don’t have anything to do with the rain or even with each other. Oh well.

~the short awkward one

10/13-fall

Early fall is the best but then all the leaves fall and the trees are naked and it’s cold and wet and rainy. *sigh*

  • Coming Over, by James Hershey. Yay Youtuber!! The only version of this on Spotify is a remix and it’s pretty good, but I love the original. It’s really catchy, the guitar’s great and for some reason it seems like a good fall song.

  • I Will Follow You Into the Dark, by Death Cab for Cutie. When I was in middle school my friend tried to get me into this song, but I didn’t really start liking it until last year. I guess my music taste improved? Anyway, indie music is great for fall.
  • All I Want, by Kodaline. If you loved me/why’d you leave me/take my body. It’s really nice, good lyrics, nice melody, pretty acoustic sounding. I don’t know if this is indie, but it sounds like it so yeah.

running out of ways to rave about songs…..

and too many good songs to rave about…..

~the short awkward one

10/11- usual

This is what I listen to all the time, anytime, any day, any mood-

  • Let It Go, by James Bay. When I say I like “let it go,” people assume I mean Frozen, or “let her go” by Passenger (a really good song too.) The intro is amazing and it makes me wish I could play guitar (I can’t. My hands are too little.) I love the lyrics too, it’s super poetic. And Hailee Steinfeld did a great cover on Youtube, and I love that too.
  • Someone You Like, by Dove and Ryan/ The Girl and the Dreamcatcher. This is one of the original songs they wrote before they officially became the band, but it’s so cute. They’re adorable, their voices are so sweet, the lyrics are super cute and I wish this was on Spotify so I could listen to it all the time. Also, Ryan’s ukulele skills are amazing.

  • Never Be Alone, by Shawn Mendes. Whistling in the intro should be annoying, but somehow he makes it work. Catchy, best lyrics, pretty much perfect.

~the short awkward one

10/5- anxiety part 2

I get super quiet in big groups and around guys and people I don’t know. And by quiet I mean I literally clam up and say nothing. Is this normal? Is this what you’d call social anxiety? No one else seems to have this problem and they all know what to say and when to say it. And I just sit there feeling like a socially awkward freak and kind of hide behind my hair. So when I get out of that situation and mentally beat myself up for saying nothing, I start running through songs in my head or on my phone, and it seems okay. But seriously, I have like 3 friends I .can say anything to. And even then they have their own groups of friends that I don’t know and I get awkward around.

Like when I join a club at school by myself and I don’t know anyone there, I sit there like a lump while everyone else is talking. And when my friends are gone from school, I have to find another friend who’s sitting with a group, and I pretty much eat silently. Guess what? Both those things happened today. So I ended up listening to music for about an hour when I got home-

  • Cool Kids, by Echosmith. Great band, great message. Everyone feels this at some point in their life. I pretty much feel this every day.
  • Fools, by Troye Sivan. Again, I love Youtubers’ music, and the video series for this album was amazing. I am tired of this place, I hope people change…

  • Life of the Party, by Shawn Mendes. He’s literally perfect, and so is his music. He’s the whole package- piano, guitar, singing, and probably a lot more.

~the short awkward one

ps: if I don’t have anxiety, then I’ve at least got a whole bunch of problems, starting with perpetual awkwardness.

10/4- friends

My definition of a friend: someone who you can laugh with, talk to about anything, be unfiltered with, and someone who’s got your back. Sometimes people don’t get this definition and stab you in the back and that’s not a fun feeling.

And true friends will tell you about cool music-

  • Girls like Girls, by Hayley Kiyoko. (She’s in Lemonade Mouth. That movie is A+.) My friend told me about this song and we listened to it together and I said it had cool lyrics. She said she doesn’t really listen to the lyrics, but she listens to the beat and the melody and the voice, and I thought that was pretty cool how people listen to music differently. (For me it’s mostly about the lyrics and melody.)
  • Uma Thurman, by Fall Out Boy. Since I mostly listen to indie pop, this was kinda far out there, but a few of my friends really liked FOB and kept talking about them, so I listened to a few songs and I loved them.
  • Revolution, by Diplo ft. Faustix & Imanos and Kai. (okay super long title.) I already had this one in my playlist, but I was chatting with my friend and she asked if I knew it. Then she said it was super chill and calm and I ws like, wait. That’s not the one I know… So she sent me a link snd it turned out to be a great remix. So again, differences in music can be super cool.

Yay for friends who tell you about cool music!!

~the short awkward one

10/3- sleepy

I’m super tired and I’m listening to some dreamy music and I’m so ready to sleep… Saturday nights are the best because you literally have no responsibilities until tomorrow…

  • Written In the Stars, by The Girl and The Dreamcatcher. So this was released yesterday and I love Dove Cameron and she and her bf are the cutest and they’ve got amazing voices so check it out:

  • All of the Stars, by Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran’s the best. Also the entire soundtrack of The Fault in Our Stars is just really soothing and nice.
  • Skinny Love, by Birdy. Super nice to play on piano, and her voice is just like a fuzzy blanket.

~the short awkward one