9/21- tired

I’m super tired and demotivated right now, honestly all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. Books and movies make it seem so easy to become motivated, usually after a life-changing event, but I don’t think I’m ever going to have one of those epiphanies. It’s easy for them, those fictional characters, because they know it’s going to work out one way or another (unless it’s a tragedy.) But I’m still not sure of my ending, no one is, and without knowing exactly what I’m heading toward how can I be motivated? I hate not knowing.

I’m going on 4 hours of sleep and that made no sense, didn’t it?

Here’s the music-

  • Life of the Party, by Shawn Mendes. Shawn Mendes is amazing. I’m really relating to these lyrics right now because this is what I want, to just let go and have fun and not hide in this stupid cocoon of quiet I’m always in.
  • Clear Blue Sky, by Skylar Grey. Love love love her voice, and her music is great when I’m feeling sad or moody. According to books/movies/tv/etc, life is great, it’s that clear blue sky. But the way I’m seeing it right now? It’s a complicated sky with rain and lightning and tornadoes.
  • Hiding Places, by Xenia. Her voice has the greatest texture, and the melody is both happy and sad somehow. Basically about a hiding girl, who lets someone in to share it with her, and I want this. So much.

If you made sense of this post, you get me. If not, listen to the music. Give it a try.

~the short awkward one


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