9/1- first day of school

that was a terrible experience. first i got the wrong schedule and then i didn’t have friends in most of my classes and now it’s just hit me full force that i may have friends, but i don’t have a “group.” and i don’t mean that in a clique-y way i just mean i have a bunch of friends, but none of them know each other. and this is high school and it’s supposed to be one of the best times of my life according to disney and high school musical and stuff but it just feels really bad like honestly can i go back in time to elementary school when i was little and didn’t give a crap about makeup or boys or the tiny nuances of friendship like you were either friends or you weren’t, it was that simple. if you’re not in high school yet, enjoy the time you have. if you’re out of high school, you’re lucky. if middle school is your awkward phase, then high school is your “figure the whole rest of your freaking life out while studying snd trying to have a social life” phase. i’m just super pathetic snd pouring my heart out to a computer and no one will probably ever read this and this is again another giant pity party which i have pretty often so some sad songs are coming out-

  • I’m A Mess, by Ed Sheeran. so true, i feel like a mess 24/7.
  • Cry, by Alexx Calise. ok so i’m not to the point of crying yet, but her voice is great and so are the lyrics.
  • Tower (Don’t Look Down), by Skylar Grey. sometimes i feel like everyone’s going places but me and i’ll be left behind all alone and this song pretty accurately describes that feeling.

don’t tell me other people have it worse. yes of course they do, but that doesn’t mean my problems don’t matter. and no i’m not going to do anything extreme about these things, because i think this is a pretty healthy outlet.

~theshortawkwardone (i truly am wayyy awkward. maybe that’s part of the problem)

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